Sunday, December 4, 2011

Please Go The Fuck Back Home. Now.

When you decided to leave
I was so young and so bold
And then you decided to leave
I got tired and old

Smokin' cigarettes; more than I should
My hands won't stop shaking and that can't be good
I would forget you, if only I could

Well I'm not supposed to see you looking
I'm not supposed to stare straight into your eyes
Well I'm not supposed to kiss your lips
But you smile so sweet
I can't resist those eyes

This city's fucking cold and I want to go home.

And I'm racing towards the one mistake that locks me in my place.
The judgement call that justifies the smirk stuck on my face.
My crooked life scared straight and stiff by the last wrong turn I'll take.
But I'm not there yet so come purr, my pet.
Let's play, let's play.

Sunday, January 16, 2011


I wish you were here with me. I wish I was there with you. But most of all, I wish I didn't have to wish for you.

Love is looking at him and knowing you can't be with him. You feel happy because he's happy with someone else.

I've learned you can never expect anything from anyone, no matter who it is. The second you expect something from someone, you're setting yourself up for heartbreak.

It's surprising how much memory is built around things unnoticed at the time.

It's cold outside, even colder between you and me.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

And you'll see me waiting for you

Fuck the feelings. Fuck the touch. Fuck the memories. They hurt too much.

Cry for the times that you were almost mine, I cry for the memories I've left behind, I cry for the pain, the lost, the old and new... I cry for the times I thought I had you.

Maybe there isn't a Mr. Right, maybe there's a Mr. Good enough.

You need to have a little faith; not everyone you love is going to leave you

The person you end up needing the most is the one you swore you never wanted in the first place.

There is a big difference in what we long for, what we settle for, and what we are meant for.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Sick and tired...

I wish we'd never had those good times, never laughed together & eaten your toasted sandwiches together, I wish you'd never held me tight & whispered into my neck how much you loved me, then tried to show me how much by spreading your arms as far as theycould go. 'Cause now those times are so far away, & I miss them more & more each day, as you cut me off from you.

I tried to be someone else but nothing seemed to change I know now: This is who I really aminside. Finally found myself fighting for a chance. I know now: This is who I really am.

Baby, it's a shame, a shame that we go through the things that we go through when you're in love with me & I'm in love with you. I think that we should talk about our problems instead ofrunning away. Oh baby, it's a shame we couldn't work it out. Forgot what love was all about & the feelings we had from the start. My heart will always be with you, oh boy, it's over.

& I'll sleep in this shirt because its smell reminds me of a particular place, and the memories I made there, and of the person I met there and can't stop thinking about.

If people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop lovingthem. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever.

She should've been a track star with the way she ran from everything & everyone. She ranbefore she could get close. She ran before she could get hurt. She ran before she could be run from. She ran from him. She ran from herself

Friday, December 31, 2010

One single day changed who I was.

She said, "Pull the trigger. We'll make a game out of this"

There comes a point where you miss someone so much that you can hear their voice echo in your head. And you can hear the names that they used to call you, the words they used to tell you. You memorized their laugh, their smile, and their silly ways. You can also feel their arms around you and you don’t want to let go even though you know it’s just an illusion. Every time your phone rings, you smile because you hope it’s them that’s calling. Every time you hear their name, your heart beats 100 times faster and sometimes, you can’t even breathe. You knew that looking back on the tears would make you laugh, but you never knew that looking back on the laughs would also make you cry. All you want is to go back in time. not to the time that you first met, to the time that you were known as nothing, but strangers. But no matter what, you’re in denial. You hide your feeling so no one would know. You put on a fake smile and don’t let a single tear break through. You’re so used to hiding your feelings that you don’t even realize the pain you’re causing for yourself. Your thoughts become invisible. It’s still there, but no one knows. Like a love letter you didn’t show. And you’re hurting no one but yourself.

She's not like that now. She knows better. She knows now that people lie , and promises can be broken as quick as they are made. She understands that she might never be loved , and too quickly good things fly in front of your eyes before you can reach out and grab them. She knows that you can't change or help time, so every now and then it will just run out. There isn't a place for everyone in the world, so if you're standing alone for awhile, that's why. Not everything in life comes easy, but when you work the hardest, that's when it's the best. You can't always expect people to care, and even when your best friends stab you in the front, don't think for one minute that they didn't already aim for your back. They missed for a reason. She has found out to soon, that in the end, you are your own best friend. Everyone will be broken at some point in their life and more often than not, its gonna hurt like hell. But you can't stop it. You can't change your fate. Some things are meant to be and all the pain you go through will end up resulting in something huge. You don't know what it is and when it happens, it will hit you like a ton of bricks. At some point, when you have experienced everything you can, the words 'Life' and 'Risk' won't mean anything to you anymore. But don't try and change that. Stuff like that is meant to happen. Over time, certain things no longer have an affect on you. And that happens because that's the way it supposed to be. But you'll learn all that later in life when little things like a sunrise or a spring rain start to matter. But it might catch you off guard and happen sooner.

There is always gonna be that one person, the one who got away, the one who fucked you up, the one who broke your heart, the one you swore you would love forever. That person, who becomes not even a person at some point, but becomes this overwhelming being, this sense of loss that you carry with you. 

My feelings just changed. I had been waiting for you to realize you couldn't go another day without me. I had played out every excuse you could of had for putting all that time between us. Missing you had become second nature to me. And somewhere in the last year, when I never got that phone call, and you never showed up at my window, and we never ran into each other, I just stopped feeling like I needed you so much.

Life is simple; you're just making it complicated.
You're born a nobody, so live fast & die a somebody.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Mad as a Hatter

I'm not supposed to love you, I'm not supposed to care, I'm not supposed to live my life, wishing you were there. I'm not supposed to wonder where you are or what you do, I'm sorry I just can't help myself, I fell in love with you.

We had the right love at the wrong time. Guess I always knew inside I wouldn't have you for a long time.

A part of me wants to erase you from my past, but a part of me still wants you in my future.

You have this way of meaning everything and nothing to me at the same time

My thoughts are free to go anywhere, but it's surprising how often they head in your direction.

If it's addiction you want, well you've got it. They don't come no more addicted than me. A couple pills to help me think, then pour some whiskey in my drink and I'll pray you're the one that keeps me from my dreams. 

Thursday, December 9, 2010


I haven't seen you, feels like a long time. Sometimes it hurts, but I always get by. Still get a piece of you under my skin. It's always there no matter where I've been